Stranded Irishman

[Rick Mulhern]

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him,"Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?""Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag.
"Faith and begorrah!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!"
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve,unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink.
"'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.

The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.

Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all.

Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence,

"Get well soon - from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week."


Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?